Warning...proceed with caution

Being a person used to A's and B's all my life, getting a D was a huge, unexpected twist of fate, but when I found myself faced with an F, I about died. I NEVER in my wildest dreams would have imagined myself looking down to see an F staring back at me. This never happened before!

Let me back up. I went to Utah for Thanksgiving for a family feast, but my maternity waistband wasn't the only thing groaning under the weight of a heavy load.

I've been carrying a private burden that I thought was my eternal lot in life.

I had been looking for something to carry my load, and Utah was just the place to go to find relief.

The longing for more comfort finally snapped me away from the bosom of lacy seduction and "under" world bondage.

What happened to me in Utah changed my life.

I returned from Utah uplifted.

I felt so much support!

I was surrounded by assistance.

The fabric of comfort woven by wonderful strangers held my heavy burden.

I returned a changed woman.

No, I didn't attend the temple while in Utah. Our hectic schedule didn't permit it, though I did finally buy new temple clothes since my old ones fit my wedding weight...

BUT...I did manage to buy a new bra! Yes, I've been talking about a BRASSIERE this whole time.

Now, for those of you who are offended or disgusted by "bra talk", I suggest you stop reading here. I just have to continue on for my sake so I have a record of this astounding event.

I had been suffering the woes of an unruly bra which offered unreliable support and stretched out elastic. My sister-in-law praised the benefits of being fitted for a proper bra at Nordstrom, and I couldn't resist following in her footsteps!

Getting fitted by a proper, uh, bra-fitter(???) is probably one of the best decisions I've made in my life. This bra just may be the best purchase I've ever made. I've tried being fitted at JCPenney and Victoria Secret before, but they don't know how to properly fit someone, or their bra choices are just poor, because I really haven't experienced anything like this before!

Freedom from droopy straps!

Freedom from lifting my arms without having to "readjust" afterward!

Freedom from unsightly bra lines under T-shirts!

If I were you, and if you're female, I'd indulge in the luxury of a well-made bra that's properly fit for you, even if it is a bit spendy for your budget. But beware, most women walking around today are wearing a bra with the band or cup sizes way off from what they should be wearing so you may be shocked, as I was, with the size you walk away in. With my ever-increasing weight and newly weened little one with another arriving soon, my chest has reached new bounds. I'm actually an F cup!!! Holy cow!!! They make that size!? It's a DDD, just so you know. I was stunned. I think the fitter may have literally scraped my jaw off the ground after she told me what size I was in.

It's not a "cute" bra. It could cover half the state of Oregon, but man oh man, it's comfy and worth every penny. I'll show you a picture of it, but not a picture of myself. That would be a little too horrifying. Here's a picture from the Nordstrom website. Sorry if this picture offends, or something. Just avert your eyes if that's the case. I just have to have on permanent record the vast quantity of fabric that makes up my "full-coverage" bra.


All I know is, this is the freakiest twist of fate for me to end up in a 36F, so when I'm done having kids and get back down to a decent weight and my bust shrinks, I'll have to look back at this post to remind myself it wasn't a dream. I can't imagine what's going to happen when my milk comes in (if it ever dries up before the baby arrives) and my bust increases even more. Have mercy!!!! Aren't 4 hooks in the back enough??

By the way, if you know Hyatt and how he hates change, he HATED my new bra when he saw me in it for the first time while I was dressing the other day. He angrily declared that I couldn't wear it and had to wear my old Motherhood Maternity bra (which I happily threw away after the purchase of this new one), but after acting like it hurt my feelings for him to say that, he changed his mind and now reminds me every day throughout the day that he likes my new bra and doesn't like my old bra. Maybe he's getting too old to dress around. Hmmm.

I'll share a little secret too, while I'm at it. Since this isn't a padded bra, and I abhor "nippage", they sold me some insert things that are thin pads to wear inside the bra in order to help avoid embarrassment on those chilly mornings. Well, they've ended up embarrassing me twice now, rather than saving me from embarrassment. Twice one has crept it's way out of my bra and peeked it's sneaky little head out of my shirt without me knowing it. Luckily, Hyrum found it the first time, but then today when I was helping some customers that were looking at countertops, I happened to graze my hand over my chest and I felt the sneaky little bugger poking several inches out of my shirt. How long had it been rearing it's ugly head??? Please, please, say they didn't notice some funky little flesh-colored flap of fabric weaseling its way out of my blouse like a worm surfacing out of the soil after a rain storm. I quickly turned away and tried to stuff it back in place, but the naughty little thing was determined to wave its hands and scream "Look at me!!! I'm an escapee!", so I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed it out and wadded it up to stuff it in my pocket. Oh the horrors!! I don't think I'll highly recommend the inserts. At least nippage is an embarrassment that all girls are faced with, so it doesn't make you real back in horror when you see it. Roaming inserts, though, are a bit on the freak-show side.