The naked truth about Ashland's Old Fashioned 4th of July parade

If you haven't ever been to Ashland on the 4th of July, you are seriously missing out! Ashland, Oregon is the ONLY place to be on Independence Day because though it's a small town, they go all out for the 4th.
Shockingly enough, I made a pregnant-brain decision to not go down this year. I actually didn't feel like making the 3 hour drive down to Ashland because it was 6 pm on the 3rd and we hadn't even packed. I figured it would be easier to take our new trailer out camping than get 3 kids ready that night after an exhausting day-long trek around Coos Bay going to appointments with Hyrum and to my doctor's appointment and such. I don't know what possessed me to even let the thought of NOT going down cross my mind, but when I was at the parade the next day, I was reminded why Ashland is so worth going to for this particular holiday.
It all started out by trying to find a parking spot. The Cluff clan has adopted the habit of sitting in front of the library each year for the parade, so Hyrum and I have gotten tricky the last couple of years and mazed our way through the hills of Ashland to claim a spot only a few blocks above the library where no one seems to think of parking. Shira ran in the pre-parade race, so we took her daughter, Sophia (who is Talea's best friend), with us to meet her and the family in our designated spot. Isn't Sophie's new haircut cute?

What's really fun about the parade is that right before it starts, a couple of air force planes (don't ask me what kind they are) do a fly-over to signal the start.

Last year, the planes snuck up on everybody because they came from a different direction than they always come from. You can't hear them until they're past you, so everyone was bummed to have missed pictures of them. This year, everyone stood in the street and scanned the skies in search of them. It was a cloudy day (much to my relief since I can't bear hot, sunny skies), so we couldn't see where the planes were. While we were scanning the skies, we heard someone rollerblading up behind us, and when we turned around, we saw the infamous naked lady!!!
If you're not aware already, it's perfectly legal in Ashland to go out in public bare naked, as long as your genitalia is covered. I've heard of topless girls in Lithia Park, but never saw it, so figured it was a rumor. Wait, I take that back. A year or so ago on the 4th, Hyrum pointed out a topless girl wearing a backpack in the squished crowd, but she was so...uh, flat...that she pretty much looked like a guy with pecs. Well, a girl just moved here from California, and she's a naked advocate, apparently. She rides her bike around town in nothing but her G-string, and she wanted to walk in the parade, but they wouldn't allow her to because each parade entry has to be family friendly. She said she was going to sue if they didn't let her, but she got smart and found her own way to be a part of the parade.
The Nudie Cutie (as my mom has labeled her) strode past us on her Rollerblades at a pretty good clip with her perfect tan and flesh-colored, hemp G-string. I barely noticed her naked front before she was past me and looked buck naked from the back since the string matched her skin. We laughed at her existence because we thought she was just a rumor, but then later, as we were enjoying the parade, she came walking down the sidewalk blowing a big conch shell (the big ones that you see people blowing in pictures) to attract as much attention as possible. A policeman was following along side her on the street riding a SEGWAY, maybe to prevent her from being molested (she did have a great body)? So she wasn't allowed to walk on the street as part of the parade, but she definitely was the hit of the parade with many a person that day, and she was only a few feet away from the street since she was on the sidewalk. I don't know if she'll be around next year, but I know she created quite a stir this year.

The parade was good, but I did miss seeing some of the usual things that were missing this year, like the Harleys and Doxies and masses of decorative cars, but a few skin-baring individuals, aside from the Nudie Cutie, did manage to grace our presence. First, there were a bunch of belly-dancers, and then the guy scooping the poop bent over gratuitously in his makeshift loin cloth.

Needless to say, we were all getting a good laugh at all the flesh-baring, but more than a few people were covering their eyes...

...Or averting their eyes.

A few just got bored and fell asleep once the nudity ceased.

Somehow they managed to transport our house into the parade!

With Ashland being the bike-friendly town it is, someone invented a bike with no pedals. You just run along or put your legs up and coast. It looked really fun, and one even had a kid-seat adaptor.

I only noticed one car that was decorated. Where was the butterfly VW bug? Or the shoe? I guess troll dolls and cartoons had to satisfy us this year.

A brief reminder of the "Oppressor" rolled on by, and we thought of Edward and Daisha.

And just to make some of the far-distant family quite homesick, I'll throw in a few pictures of the Cluff clan. Can you find Dane's family members?

What about Mom and Dad?

The twins are easy to spot, but what about Hyrum?

And for the Johnson clan who probably isn't interested in spotting Cluffs, here are a few pictures of our little Johnson group.

Tilly had to sit with her favorite uncle, Nial.

My boys look so much alike that wherever we go, people comment to me about how much Hyatt looks like his Daddy.

When the parade was over, we all walked down the main street to Lithia Park where the fun is. I have pictures of the post-parade traditions, but that's for another post.