Traces of the twins...

Some of you may remember my post, "Traces of Dallas", from last year. Well, my brothers (Dallas and Weston), who happen to be identical twins, came up last Friday night to help us on Saturday (though I think they just wanted to get out of working in the barn at home), and they stayed until Sunday evening.

While they were here, I had to document their damage, since it always happens. FYI, Dallas is the more destructive of the two. So here it goes...

If your new glassware (which you just barely bought to replace your ever-breaking supply of existing glassware) is already being broken...you probably have Dallas using your glassware. (It's plastic kiddie cups from here on out Dally-boy). Note the disregard for safety as he sweeps up broken glass bare-footed.


If your white hand towels have spaghetti sauce on them after dinner...you probably have Dallas or Weston improperly washing their hands at your house. (This is a repeat offense.)


If the pristine floor mats in your brand spanking new vehicle are suddenly crusty, muddy brown rather than new-car grey...you probably had Dallas and Weston sitting, unsupervised, in your backseat. (Apparently, it's too difficult to take your massive, muddy shoes off and put them on the made-for-mud, rubber floor mats that are only 12 inches away.)

If it takes asking 45 times, telling 62 more times, turning off a movie, then threatening 37 additional times in order to get the violators to finally clean your crusty, muddy brown floor mats...you're probably asking/telling/threatening Dallas and Weston.


If you suddenly hear a sound that makes you wonder if a large boulder was thrown at your wall inside your bedroom...you'll probably find that Dallas is just body-slamming himself around the room out of sheer clumsiness.

If you hear footsteps on your roof, with no valid reason for anyone to be on your roof, and said roof is dangerously steep to walk on without being tethered...you will no doubt find Dallas, who has a reputation for being accident prone, climbing in a dormer window with a flimsy excuse as to why he's wandering around aloft with no safety equipment.

If you built a retaining wall last summer and warned people to stay away from it since it was still unstable, and someone with a size 15 shoe stepped near the edge of it anyway before it had a chance to settle and become strong, thus making the wall fall apart, and the aforementioned person never bothered to repair the damage and then the winter rains hit causing the wall to continue to fall apart...it was probably Dallas who wore that size 15 shoe.

Now, I love my brothers, but I have to wonder...will they ever grow out of breaking everything they touch, or leaving major messes everywhere?