Traveling up north

I know I've been dwelling on the southern region of my body lately, or is it the middle? And in the process, I've grossed out many a reader. I do feel a slight twinge of remorse for inflicting such sickening feelings in the pits of those stomachs, but in reality, I really don't care if anyone was offended or grossed out because this blog is my journal. Each year I'm making it into a book (with Hyrum's computer genius help), so it's for my family to look at and read. My kids aren't grossed out by it. Talea even asks me if she can check on my bum to see if it's improving (okay, I can hear the dry heaves now and the mouses clicking off my blog), so I'm not worried about them being sickened by my surgery tales.


I did visit the surgeon on Thursday. Things are healing well, but he did finally admit that I still have one hemorrhoid left. Drat!!!! I'll go back in 6 weeks and if it's still lurking around, he said he could band it. What am I, a goat? How do you poo in that situation? My aunt castrated our pygmy goats once by banding their testicles, so all I could picture when the surgeon said that was a banded testicle! When I was pregnant with Kiersa and had that pyogenic granuloma growth on my nose (stinking pregnancy side-effects!), it would grow so rapidly and bleed so profusely that I had no choice but to do my own "banding" by tying a thread around it and choking it off. I couldn't get in to the dermatologist for 2 months, and I couldn't live with a huge, bleeding growth on my nose during the wait. I must have "banded" it 2 or 3 times. So, back to my posterior...it appears the saga is not complete. I still have more pain to endure in the future, it appears.

Now, traveling up north, I've mentioned how I've had three clogged ducts from nursing. Starting with week 2 of nursing, I've been jinxed enough to get a clogged duct each week. If you've never had one, they're really painful. When the baby latches on, you feel a sharp, burning, shock of pain for a few seconds, and you get lumpy and engorged because the milk is backed up behind the clog. Yesterday, I got clog #4 (since Paisli is 5 weeks old now), but this time I couldn't manage to unclog it no matter what I tried, so I ended up in the early stages of a breast infection. I took a hot shower to try to unclog it, but it didn't work, so by the time the hot water was waning away, and I got out, I was struck by the infection. I felt miserable and I had no energy. All I could do was lie down. Then the chills started. I had goosebumps and was shivering like crazy, and even with Hyrum giving me a hot water bottle for my feet, I couldn't warm up. So, off to the bath I went. My teeth were chattering as I made my way to the scalding hot bath Hyrum had started for me. An ultra hot bath is the only way I can warm up when I have the chills. I think it must have helped my duct, because after that bath, things started to improve. I took an ibuprofen for the pain and I was able to sleep. When I woke up, I felt like I was 1,000 degrees, and poor Paisli who was lying next to me, nursing, was surrounded by a pool of her own sweat. I got up and felt as sore as though I'd just ran a marathon with no practice or training, but I felt okay. I was so glad I caught it before the red streaks showed up, which means I'd need antibiotics.

Hyrum says he doesn't think my body was made to nurse children, or else our children were never made to breast feed, and I have to say I agree.

I had all kinds of problems with nursing Talea. By the time she was a month old, she hadn't gained enough weight, even though she ate for an hour at a time and only went 10 minutes between feedings, so I had to start seeing several lactation consultants. They weighed her before a 40 minute feeding, and then afterward, and she'd only gained an ounce when she should have gained 3 or 4. I was put on every drug, tincture and herb you could try to increase your milk. One of the pills made my sweat smell like root beer. I was given a fancy breast pump that I'd have to use day and night. They eventually even told me to drink root beer each day! I had to tube feed her formula while she was breast feeding until her weight picked up to a reasonable level. She was born 5 pounds 8 oz, and was only barely 8 pounds by 2 months, when they said her weight had picked up enough that I didn't need to tube feed her formula anymore.

I took her off the formula, but her weight didn't continue increasing as fast as it should, so I needed to put her back on formula. She refused to take a bottle, but we were desperate with her screaming fits and all, so we kept trying to get her to take one. When we finally got her to accept a bottle, she gulped it down like she'd been starved to death her whole life, and once she'd take a bottle of formula, it was as though we had a new baby. The baby who cried constantly became a happy baby! I got a clogged duct when she was 4 or 5 months old that led to a breast infection with chills and red streaks and antibiotics. That clog never went away, so I only nursed her until she was 9 months old, and I couldn't nurse her on the clogged side very often because of the pain.

When Hyatt was born, I was nervous that I'd have the same problems.

He unclogged my duct for me somehow (that was still visibly clogged 14 months after weaning Tilly) the first time he latched, and he was actually pretty kind to me. No clogged ducts. No infections. At least none that I remember. After being put through the ringer with Tilly, I knew what things to look for to know if I was producing enough milk. I could tell he wasn't getting enough, so we introduced a bottle to him instead of a feeding tube, and Hyrum would feed him bottles when I was empty. But when he was 7 months old, he was done nursing and refused to continue. I was surprised because he was my gentle nurser, but he didn't want anything more to do with it.

Kiersa started bad and ended bad.

Well, actually I thought I finally had a good milk supply because she gained a pound a week for over a month (remember, it took Talea 2 months to gain 1 and a half pounds), but then it tapered off to my low supply at 2 months. I mean, Kiersa was a chunk! Here she is at about 6 weeks, with an eye cold.

And here's Paisli at 4 weeks. Not near so chubby.

I say Kiersa started bad because she was ALWAYS painful to nurse. She has a fetish with her tongue, so maybe that was the problem. She probably just latched weird with her tongue, but I couldn't ever get her to latch comfortably no matter what I tried. She gave me a lot of clogged ducts and a couple of infections. When she was 3 months old, I got pregnant with Paisli (oops), so I was told I needed to wean Kiersa when I was 4 months along so Paisli would get what she needed. Therefore, Kiersa was weaned at 7 months. It was really easy to wean all of my kids because they were all breast AND bottle fed, so the transition to a full-time bottle at 7 or 9 months was a piece of cake. And since I never get engorged, feel milk "let down", or leak milk all over my shirts (since I have a low milk supply), it's never uncomfortable for me when my kids quit nursing. I had WIC with Talea and Hyatt, which was so nice since formula costs an arm and a leg. I didn't have WIC for Kiersa, and we were spending $80-100 a month on formula. Ouch! We found out she was lactose intolerant when she was put on formula full-time at 7 months, so we had to switch her to soy formula.

So now Paisli is starting off worse than any of the others, as far as clogged ducts go.

If I had WIC, I would seriously consider putting her on formula full-time right now and just wean her off of me. I love the bonding of nursing, and I know it's the best for a baby, but something's got to give when I can't go a week without the threat of infection. We'll see...