English Vacation (Day 17): Paris and the Jinx

We had been looking forward to this day for a while because it's the day we were to travel to France! One more country under our belts! Daisha had purchased tickets ahead of time for our family plus she, Tabby and Dakota to go on the Eurotrain to Paris, which goes under the English channel and gets you to Paris in about 2 hours. Edward had to work, but he's not a fan of Paris anyway.
We should have known our trip would carry the Johnson Jinx with it. While we were in England, on Sept. 11, there was a fire in the English Channel tunnel, which of course affected OUR tickets. Our trains on the way to Paris and back were both canceled, so we had to just get on our choice of trains, which wasn't bad except that our original plan was to go on the 6 something train, but instead we'd have to take the 5:30 am or the 7:45 am. We had to drive almost a half hour to the station, so to take the earlier train, we'd have to leave the house at 5 am. We're jinxed, but not crazy, so of course we didn't go at 5:30 with 5 kids in tow. We took the 7:45 and lost almost an hour of tourist time in Paris. But that's only the beginning!

We got to the station in time to catch our train, but after we went through security and tried to go through the passport check, Daisha couldn't find her family's passports. She searched and searched her purse, knowing she'd put them in there, but couldn't find them. We were getting scared that she'd have to drive home and get them and take a later train, leaving us in Paris alone until she got there. We went through the passport check while her family ran back out to her car to look for them there, and she left a phone with us so in case we had to leave without her, we could find one another. Thankfully, the Lanyon Luck overruled the Johnson Jinx and her passports were in the car (Dakota had taken them out to get some gum and forgotten that he'd done so...so we called it the Dakota Disaster rather than the Johnson Jinx). She got through the passport check just in time to catch the train with us.



Just in case you thought that was bad, it got worse. We took off on time from the platform in our crowded train car, but after traveling for a bit, we entered the tunnel, which goes under the ocean, and suddenly stopped. We were stopped for an hour and a half because the train in front of us had broken down, and since they were already on limited tracks because of the fire, we just had to wait for it to be repaired. I challenge you to try to entertain 3 small children for 3 1/2 hours in a cramped train car and see how much fun you have.

So now we were 2 1/2 hours behind schedule from our original plans! Also, Paris is an hour ahead of London, and we were told we'd have to get back to the train station by 6 pm so that we could get on a 9ish train, so by the time we got to Paris, we only had 5 hours to see everything we wanted to see.

We finally arrived in Paris and I quickly decided I liked London much better. We couldn't read the signs, understand the language, or find an ATM to get euros (the money the European Union uses...except Britain). There were also a ton of smokers everywhere (it looked like they must roll their own cigarettes) and way too much body odor and honking cars.


We finally found a tourist place and got tickets for the open top tour bus, but then we had to find an ATM, a place to eat and the bus stop. I don't like this kind of stress, so I wasn't having fun so far. Plus, I was scared something would get stolen (I'm gun shy now from my camera being stolen). While we were walking, we saw a cool thing. They have bikes all over town that you borrow for free and just return to a new bike location. A great idea I thought.


We finally found an ATM and a sandwich shop, and thankfully they put an English translation under the French. The guy working at the sandwich shop there told me my total by showing me a calculator since he knew I wouldn't be able to understand the numbers he would have told me. We got baguette sandwiches and hot dogs for the kids, then the bus came, so we settled in for a city tour with our food. Check out these hot dogs! They're on baguettes too, with cheese.


My jaw was sore when I was done eating from chewing such tough bread. I have to give the French some credit. It was rare that I saw a fat person in Paris. I think the only fat people I saw were tourists. I don't know how a whole population can stay so thin! No wonder they think Americans are so large. I felt pretty big, pregnant or not.

We got a chance to fit our whole crew on the top of the bus, so we climbed up, and on our way up, Hyrum smacked Kiersa's head pretty hard since he forgot to duck for her (she was in the backpack carrier), so I had to feed her to comfort her and give the other tourists some quiet. We had fun being tourists, as you can see, although the guy in the black jacket in front of me had a serious case of dandruff, and I thought for sure that by the end of the ride, considering the wind and all, I would be covered in his flakes. I didn't have the nerve to look.


Hyatt's eyes are sensitive to bright sunlight, just like Hyrum's, so he insisted on wearing his Natural History Museum dinosaur sunglasses everywhere we went this vacation. We bought them because we forgot his regular ones back in America and felt bad when he complained of his eyes hurting in the sun.



Hyrum decided to be like Edward on vacation and not shave during our trip, so he was getting pretty hairy by now.


We saw some really famous sites, like the Louvre, where all the most famous paintings are. All the buildings make up the Louvre, and royalty used to live there, before it became the art museum. The pyramid is the entrance.


The bus drove into the courtyard, and it seriously had to slow to a crawl to squeeze through without its mirrors hitting.


We also saw the Opera house,


Notre Dame cathedral (not the side with the flying buttresses though),


and drove down the Champs-Elysees (which has cobblestones for pavers)



to the Arc de Triomphe. There's a huge roundabout that circles the Arc, and I hear that you aren't insured if you drive on that roundabout because it's so dangerous. There are no lines, yet several lanes of traffic, so people are just flying around in the hopes of not hitting anyone. They now have a policeman controlling the traffic at several locations to help with the congestion. Paris has horrible traffic by the way. London may have crazy roads, but the traffic isn't even half as bad.


We saw lots of other famous buildings too (most of which I can't remember the names of). Yes, I realize one is the Eiffel Tower.


They had gas pumps in the middle of the street you could just pull over to and fill up at.


We kept seeing street vendors that used shopping carts to hold a heat source with a pan on top where they'd cook nuts or whatever. It looked dirty and unappetizing. I'd be with Edward in not sampling that stuff.


The garbage cans in the city are see-through bags, to deter people who may drop a bomb inside.


In Paris, and London, I noticed that the street lamps, poles, electrical boxes, etc were all textured as high as a tall person could reach, and painted. It must be to keep people from putting stickers and stuff on them. Good idea, I think.


The highlight of the day was the Eiffel Tower since it was the only place we were able to get off the bus to visit.

There were armed guards all around it with full on machine guns, so that was kind of eerie,

but their security was the worst I've ever seen. They didn't even search our bags and didn't care when we set off the metal detectors. Maybe they figured we were safe since we were a family with small kids, but wouldn't that be a perfect cover for a terrorist? Good thing for them that we weren't! We paid to go to the top of the tower since it was the only thing we got to go to today, and that was an amazing view. I've never seen such a white city before!


Even though their architecture was stunningly beautiful (even the apartments),

their landscaping was terrible. I'm interested in the landscape more than the architecture, so I was pretty disgusted. They just put decomposed granite (dirt looking stuff) or something like it all over the place. In London, there would be pavers or plants... or something! It just looked awful to me.


I heard that Paris had a lot of dog poop all around, but since we didn't do much walking I only saw some horse poo,


until I made a conscious effort to look for some as we drove, then I saw a couple of smashed dog poo piles. I guess the rumor is true. We did witness a guy peeing on a cart as he stood on the sidewalk. Pretty disgusting.

THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE JOHNSON JINX
We got a bus after the Eiffel Tower and headed back toward the train station. We had to switch buses to get on the route that took us where we needed to be, and when we got off our first bus, we learned that there was only one bus servicing the route we needed to take next. We didn't know when that would come, so we decided to walk to the train station, hoping it wouldn't take too long. Just as we got ready to walk, the proper bus pulled up. Hyrum got in at the back doors since it was wider and he had the stroller, and the rest of us were going to get in the front to give our tickets. Just before we got on, the driver was trying to tell everyone in French something about how he was only going to go to the next stop, or so we thought. Two women pushed in front of us and got on the bus and started asking him if he was going to the Notre Dame. He said no, then a fight started. Talea had stepped up on the first step, but the argument became so heated that the driver stood up and acted like he was going to charge at the woman, but instead he started closing the doors. Talea got caught in the doors and I started to panic. I couldn't shove her in or pull her out and she was getting scared, thinking she'd done something to get in trouble. We were yelling for him to open the door and stop smashing her, but the fight continued. Hyrum was yelling from the back to be let off if the driver didn't plan on letting the rest of us on. In all the commotion, the driver finally noticed our plight and opened the doors. Poor Tilly was tramatized, but took it very well. The lady who started the trouble finally got off and the driver angrily motioned for us to get on yelling stuff in French and motioning as though he was only doing one more stop. I got on with Daisha and Tabitha and Talea and then he suddenly shut the door and attempted to leave. Daisha yelled out "Wait! My son!!!" I turned around and saw Dakota standing on the sidewalk holding Hyatt. So I started yelling too! He finally opened the doors and we quickly got the boys on board. We sat down with the driver yelling about the whole situation, but he shut the doors and left all the other people who needed to board stranded on the sidewalk, then he took off!

We drove for a few minutes, then he suddenly stopped, got off, and went into a building for a while. We didn't know what to do. Tilly looked at me and started apologizing for deserving to be slammed in the door. The poor thing!! She thought she was to blame! The driver finally came back, then we took off again. He stopped at the next stop and we started getting our stuff to get off, but he said he would take us to the train station, then he let people on. We didn't know what was going on with him, but we were glad to not have to walk the long distance.

As we drove, we noticed that Paris businesss are organized into sections. We drove through the red light district, or something of the sort, with all the strip clubs and sex shops (that's what their signs read, in English and everything) and lingerie stores. It went on and on, then suddenly we found ourselves next in the bridal section with tuxedo, wedding dress, and formals shops. Funny.

We finally arrived at the train station in one piece and managed to get to our train without incident. When it was time to board, Hyrum had to board in a different door than us since our door didn't have room for our stroller. Hyrum handed Kiersa to me so he could fold up the stroller, and Daisha and Tilly got on first. When you get on the train, you're in a luggage area, then you turn, push a button to open a door that slides into a pocket thing, then go find your seat. Daisha pushed the button without noticing that Talea had her hands on the glass door, so when it opened, it instantly took Talea's arm with it and sucked it into the pocket. She started wailing, so Daisha started yelling for help as she tried to get the door from pulling her arm in further. She couldn't get it to stop or close, so a man on the other side tried to push it back to close, but he couldn't either. I grabbed Talea's arm and tried pulling it free, but it wasn't budging. I was scared out of my mind! I thought any second her skin would start ripping off her arm or her bones would break. This was all happening in a matter of seconds, but in my panic, I grabbed the handle, braced myself against the wall and shoved with all the strength of a mother terrified for her child, and the door finally closed, realeasing Talea's arm. She fell back and landed on Kiersa, who then let out a cry of protest. Suddenly, I remembered I had been holding Kiersa. How did she end up on the floor? Did I drop her? What kind of a mother just drops her baby? I didn't hear her drop, and she never cried until Talea fell on her, but how did she get on the floor? I grabbed her up quickly, and thankfully she looked okay. The man on the other side of the door had opened it and was checking to see if Talea could move her fingers. She was fine, but had a big dent in her arm. I was shaking from all that had happened: Talea's arm getting trapped and finding Kiersa on the floor. How does this kind of freakiness always find me? It's the Johnson Jinx! Which is why my blog is now titled as such. Hyrum was oblivious to what had happened, so we all relayed it to him "fast and furious".

We got seats in the family car this time, so we had more room, but we also had people around us. One by one they started disappearing. I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to sit with us! Ha! The Jinx didn't end there. Our train went from flying along to crawling along. I can't remember why it had slowed down, but it took ages to get home!

I managed to fall asleep on the ride back with the kids until our stop, then we hurried back to our car and headed for home. That was one wild adventure I will not repeat with kids. Paris is a place for lovers, not kids.

This is sort of what our train looked like.